My granddaughters know I am a captive audience. If I make the slightest look away from their dance routines or their coloring or Lego building or trampoline jumping or scooter riding, I hear “Watch, Pearl.”
Actually, add an exclamation point. “Watch, Pearl!” It is a two-word imperative sentence, a command that their grandmother do this one thing.
What a luxury of life at 68 to just watch. Sometimes Lillie and Ellie want me to join in their activities, but often their adamant request is simply to be present and observe.
I was not as intentional as a mother. There was a household to maintain, often in singular fashion, and sweet childhood play time was often squeezed in with laundry, cleaning, and teacher responsibilities that demanded after-school work. I carved out occasions for floor time with my daughters, but it was through the lens of making sure my girls knew their numbers and colors and how to share their toys.
And that’s all good, but it is different from watching children play for the sheer joy and appreciation in the moment.
Here we are in 2025, beneficiaries of centuries of generational parenting lessons chronicled for us to learn from. Are we wiser?
Are we breaking cycles of family dysfunction or perpetuating them because we can’t stand to think that we or our parents or grandparents might have made some mistakes, even if those errors were wellintentioned or fall under “doing the best we knew how” phrase?
As the new year approaches, I want to continue to be a better mother, grandmother and teacher. It may come naturally to love my daughters, granddaughters and students, but abiding love will always be an investment of active work.
“Watch.” Show up, listen, and engage. Because not being seen is a sadness unlike any other.
Snyder, Texas, native Sue Jane Sullivan is a retired schoolteacher whose thought-provoking commentary appears occasionally in several West Texas newspapers, including The Texas Spur and The Caprock Courier.
