“I think I am only 57, but the paperwork does not back this up. I don’t feel old because your inside self doesn’t age.” – writer Anne Lamott (age 70)
Last week after visiting a friend in an assisted living facility, I was reminded of many such trips to see my paternal grandmother in the 1970s and ’80s. Fifty years removed from those occasions makes for an interesting evolution in perspective.
The decision to move Grandmother to live in this type of residency made sense to my 17-year-old self because (1) her mental and physical health were declining, (2) Dad and Mom had five children still in the nest ranging six to eighteen years of age, and (3) the nursing home was right down the street from our house. However, even as a teenager I was still capable of formulating some empathy. The difficulty of relinquishing one’s home and independence could not be sugar-coated.
Many years later, I am well aware that odds are I have about two more decades of independence—and that’s cautious optimism. My fragile gauge in measuring personal longevity is simply the fact that my parents lived to be 90 and 87. I am fully aware that nothing is guaranteed.
Aging is a gift that comes with a number of variables. Will we age gracefully or be bitter? What will go first? Hearing? Sight? Mind? How about a walker? Can we get by with just a cane? Will there be enough money to cover the costs of long-term care? Who will take us seriously and listen to our concerns? Who will spend time coming to see us when we can no longer drive?
Writing about getting old may seem like a conversation with myself, but chances are you are either in the same boat as I am or one day you will be. So, listen up.
A mirror does not have to reflect who we are as we age.
As long as our minds and bodies allow us, we can choose the age we are inside. Right now, I am dreaming more dreams than I ever did when I was that teenager visiting my grandmother.
The desire to learn and grow and experience life is a daily habit. When and if the time comes to turn over the car keys and settle down, I will be reluctant, but not as reluctant had I not lived the life I wanted when I had the chance.
I hope to orbit a few more times around the sun, at least long enough to watch Mick Jagger wheeled out as a “rolling” Stone for his final concert.
Snyder, Texas, native Sue Jane Sullivan is a retired schoolteacher whose thought-provoking commentary appears occasionally in several West Texas newspapers, including The Texas Spur and The Caprock Courier.
