GREENVILLE, TEXAS—It’s time once again to announce my semi-annual All-Name Team.
The names of these athletes just happened to catch my eye. I type thousands of names per year for stories and statistics and what not and every now and then there’s a name that just makes me stop and smile. Here’s some new names and some holdovers from previous teams.
BUCKI SMITH — She’s an 800-meter runner from Spur, Texas. I wonder if she likes to stop at Buccee’s convenience store. Since she’s from Spur, I’m also wondering if she’s also a barrel racer.
FALYN LOTT — Girls 300-meter hurdler from Frisco Memorial. I sure hope she hasn’t fallen a lot in the hurdles. She took sixth at state.
CHRISTIAN RATTLER — He’s a 100-meter dash runner from Knippa, Texas. If a runner feels someone nipping at their heels it could be a Rattler from Knippa.
LOGAN NECESSARY — Logan plays golf at Jonesboro, Texas. It must have been necessary to have Necessary on the team because Jonesboro finished third at the state tournament.
XAVIER BIGHAUS — Boys golfer from Melissa. Wonder what size house he lives in?
JAMES BOND — Not the actor. No, he’s a golfer from Lake Belton High School. I sure hope he doesn’t shoot 007 on any holes.
SAMANTHA STRAIGHT — Good last name for a female golfer from Lewisville Hebron. She hit enough straight shots for rounds of 73 and 77 at state.
JENNIFER LOPEZ — Not the famous actor-singer. This one played soccer at Mount Pleasant but the big question is, can she act, sing and dance?
UTAH PORATH — Blue Ridge basketball and football player. I finally got to see him in a football game against Quinlan Ford. I still wonder if someone in his family is from Utah.
MAY’C LAHVIC — Bland girls basketball player. Unique spelling on her first name. Bland had a good team this past season so I typed her name a lot.
WONDERFUL TERRIFIC MOUNDS, JR. — He played only one season in the NFL for the San Francisco ’49ers, which makes me think maybe he wasn’t as good as advertised. His son Wonderful Terrific Mounds III played minor league baseball. Wonder if there’ll be a Wonderful IV?
CREEDENCE CLEARWATER CUOTO — Pro soccer player. I had to include him again on the team because I’m a fan of the band Creedence Clearwater Revival. I wonder if Creedence ever left a good job in the city.
BOOF BONSER — His real first name was John, but the pro baseball pitcher legally changed it to his nickname Boof. So if you get hit by a pitch it’s an oof caused by Boof.
MILTON BRADLEY — Another former all-name member. I’m guessing he played Monopoly when he wasn’t playing baseball.
MIRACLE FINGERS — One of my all-time favorite names. Miracle played high school basketball at Victoria. Texas A&M-Commerce tried to recruit her but didn’t get a Miracle. It’s a shame she didn’t play for the Lions. I had already written a headline in advance: Lions win on shot by Miracle Fingers. I still think she should be a physical therapist.
PICABO STREET — Olympic champion skier and holdover from a previous team. She was apparently named for Picabo, Idaho. If they named a street for her would it be Picabo Street Street?
I.M. HIPP — Nebraska football player. Another holdover who once visited Greenville with his then teammate Ricky Simmons of Greenville. His name is really hip!
SCIENTIFIC MAPP — Florida A&M basketball player. He should have no problem finding his way to the gym.
That’s it for now. If you’ve found an unusual name of an athlete that would be a good candidate for the next team send them to dclaybourn@ heraldbanner.com
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