It was an unplanned hiatus from writing, these past three months. It proved to be one of the most meaningful, sacred times in my 66 years.
In December, just one day before I was set to start a regular substitute schedule with the United States Postal System, I stepped away. No hesitation, no regret, an easy decision. I was needed and wanted to be elsewhere.
From 1978 through 2019, my chosen career provided extended Christmas breaks and summers at home with my daughters. When one works in a small school high school, however, time off is relative. Teacher, class sponsor, cheerleading sponsor, driver-ed teacher, UIL academic coach— roles that were not just full-time but often overtime.
My older daughter spent ages two, three, and four sitting in a concession stand cubicle from November through February during basketball season, eating cut-up hot dog wieners and M&M’s. Birthday celebrations were postponed for my younger daughter because the first week in May was the State Academic Meet. I was also in Austin when Julie had her first serious asthma attack at the age of two. Emily, not to be outdone, broke out with chicken pox at two while with a babysitter when I was parking the school vehicle on the UT campus once again.
Even though the years of extensive speech travel on weekends came after the girls were grown, I have come to learn through our adult conversations that they still had moments of needing Mom when Mom was busy.
These past three months gave me a second chance at prioritizing.
I was not preoccupied with my own issues or grading papers or doing a crossword. I set down the book I was reading or the pages I was coloring and listened. I saw my older daughter take another set of
“first steps” and felt much like I did in 1983 when she stood on her own, balanced herself, let go, and took off.
We enjoy our children as babies, love and survive the toddler through teenage years, and deal with the mixed feelings about our children moving out and becoming more independent. Yet even the best of parents knows that sometimes we glide through all of these stages and lose track of time.
From December 2021 to March 2022, every moment had intent. I will be forever grateful for this particular gift of time to revisit a daily routine as a mother.
It was winter, but love’s warmth prevailed.
Snyder, Texas, native Sue Jane Sullivan is a retired schoolteacher whose thought-provoking commentary appears occasionally in several West texas newspapers, including The Texas Spur and The Caprock Courier.
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